I miss YOU

I waiting for this moment....
to have a desireto write again...
padahal esok pagi ni ada paper haha...
but something that come from the flash, it makes me feel so deeply sad, i miss her again...
i miss my friend, she so nice, energetic, sporty, childish sometimes, perfectionist?, complicated, weird, challenging but mostly i like her regardless whatever she is.
but we were lost contact now, i hope she read this post, the feeling of me about her..

(this is not gayish thing k? when i'm about expressing my emo, i'm soundin mostly like this, bla bla euw euw things)

i dont know what is wrong between me and you, i just cant keep up with you bcoz it is hard to understand you, and i hate it very very very much. i'm not someone that you can count on and look up, but i can honestly give you a hand of bestfriend... i'm not a good person...inside me, there are many secrets and pains that are unbreakable...i cannot tell you about those things. because i can see that you are too good for me. i not prefer this solution that we have gone through now, because in my daily life, some part of the time i spend thinking about you. like tonight... while studying, i remember about you. i know you have someone which is lovely and perfectly for you. where you can count on and be there whenever you need someone to listen and give a hand to you...honestly i'm so happy about that, because theres someone that can do all the things that i wanted to do for you that i will never can do for you. i always said it. be there for you. but i never realize it... it just a words from my heart...

i think, when you read this, my heart will be beating faster, because honestly...even receiving your calls, it makes my hand's wet and i'm so nervous...see i so bla bla again... i'm complicated and i'm not expecting other person to know who i am really are. i am happy for being i am...

please don't think that i want your attention or whatever it is...because this is me for being me...i am little by little to accept the things that we had gone thru, and i want you to be happy for the rest of your life. appreciated and grateful for everythings that you have now.