Without you, I suffocated

The tragedy happened once again, I make it worst, now I'm the one that should be blame..am I? why don't you just tell me what is wrong? then I can solve it..or apologize for what had happened between you and I.

Now your existences make me feel cold,awkward,like a knife stabbing through my heart, I drown alone in your world, even you didn't see it, through my eyes..my sight is not like before, I become pale just by looking into your eyes, it means something in your eyes, and I can interpret it...and obviously it says "stay away from Me". I suffocate..

I still remember, You give me that video, which is really touched my heart, even thou it is look like nothing, but it can shows your appreciation to me, I really do touched with your attention with those small things...those things keep me feel special, and depend on that feeling, thank you so much...

I want you to be honest with me, no matter how bad it is, I willing to accept it with open heart...I wish you could be true with me, because you make me feel guilty, hanging, and cold inside... I don't want this to be last forever, we don't have much time left, just confess it to me, I promised to make it better in the future...

The stupidest conclusion is that I know this will always remain like this, this letter,this expression, will be always be here, You don't even know about this, but to the reader of my blog, thank you for reading this...It is my self expression, and unexpectedly, you are already one step closer to my life story...complicated life story of mine...

Dream Last Night

Could it be real? I just dont expect it to be like this!
Fairy World or Fairy God Mother in this real world is actually our REAL COURAGE! BE BRAVE with whatever you wanted to do, because without courage, you could not do anything!

I experience it before, and it makes me very special and something you cant explain by words,
It makes me want to documented it forever, so that I can read it everyday and Night, I wish I could.

For those who wanted to do something that you REALLY WiSH to Do, Go for IT! Fight For IT and only you will know how much happiness you can get!

Thinking within, outside boundaryless

Sometime people dont expect to feel something that they assume to be the last person to think on such things, but we can't helped it...
Tonight I think too much until my body have to deal with the pain, it suck...I try to let the bad thought control my rationality and at the end of it, I still hanging like this, like now...
It's hard to realized whether you are jealous with somebody, someone that so close with you, you even imagined something that bad about them, bad thing that you dare they will do it...

"Green-Eyed Monster" or Jealousy is a secondary emotion and typically refers to the negative thoughts and feelings of insecurity, fear, and anxiety over an anticipated loss of something that the person values, particularly in reference to a human connection. Jealousy often consists of a combination of presenting emotions such as anger, sadness, and disgust. It is not to be confused with envy. (wikipedia.org)

I dont want it to be like this, but it still coming out from my heart, I hope that it will stop distrubing me...
I hated to express my self because it seems that I am desperate with attention. I usually don't care for what have happend to my friends but I just dont now why this one it keep pushing me, keep distracting me until toward this time.
I need some medicine to let my brain off for a while, so I wont feel anything, I hate to feels something like this, it turn me down and made myself feel S&%T...

Special Day For Special One

Today is Your Birthday and I wish you to have a forever happiness and wellness in your life, I will always remember you and will always protect you my friend, for me, you are the sun that brighter my day, you are the moon that will guide me through the darkness, you are the shelter that will protect me from the rain and thunder, and I Wish that I can give back all the things that you gave to me, I Wish I already had...

My Lovely Special Friends, Thank you for everything, selama ini, hanya kamu yang sangat memahami diri ini, Hanya kamu yang menyenangkan hati ini dikala kesedihan dan hanya kamu yang sudi berkorban apa saja untuk diri ini, bersyukur kepada-Nya kerana memberi ruang untuk mengenali mu dan hadir dalam hidup ini. ku berharap, persahabatan kita akan berkekalan selama-lamanya, kerana persahabatan kita amat berharga dari semua kebendaan didunia ini, Persahabatan ini memberikan banyak memori indah dan bersama mu, ku bahagia ^__^...

I hope that I can give you the world, but I only can give you my word, I wish that I can be your shadow, to follow you wherever you are, and I wish I can be your sweet dreams, to make you happy everytime you wake up and I wish I can be your very Best Friend, to be the one that you most needed and adore hehehe...

I'm sorry for everything that might hurts your heart, minta maaf sangat2x... I will always try to protect you and our friendship...and trust me, I will always care about you dan menghargai kamu... TRUST ME~~ you are the most beautiful person within and outside and for me you are the diamond in this world and the most precious for me...always n__n... Don't ever feel down about your self, because your are SPECIAL and always be...I Love you my BEST FRIEND...Happy Birthday to You ^___^