Feel like a Trapped

I feel like inside and outside of me is trapped, stuck, unable to reach my freedom and control, like I'm in the Drama that i usually consider as melancholic haha...but it happened to me and i experienced it myself, it really feels like . . . annoyed and depressed.

I want to make my Best Friend happy by doing something that will make her happy and excited, and as much that I like to do it, I know I cant perform it because I need others to decide for me. . .

When I'm home, I'm changed, and honestly I hated being here, it is because of the noise and the reality of being trapped here. I need my quiet,personal space of myself. . . and i can see it clearly that, i only can get it when I'm old enough and have my own earnings...

In my Mind, this is child's position toward their siblings and parents... and i must accepted the fact that i need to make my family as the first priority in my life even that i have the sentiment of it's not true...

I'm also didn't have my own stance, I thought I could forget it or ignored it, I know I'm ain't that strong to let it fall off and lose the things that I cherished most in my life. . .

If the person able to understand my situation now, it will makes me delighted and make my day meaningful ever. .